Jayd Ait-Kaci

I kind of feel I have to do a reflection on 2011, if only just so I can put it down as permission to forget about it. I don't really know if there's a way to sum it up.

To understand what 2011 was to me is to understand a bit more about me I don't really share publicly, which is to say: I'm extremely bad at sharing my burdens. The more stress, sadness, and pressures I go through, the more obsessed I become with handling it alone. And I don't do this out of a complex to appear tough to other people--although the sense of pride to convince myself I can handle it is definitely there--it's more I can't allow other people to bear a suffering that has nothing to do with them, for it to be a dead weight to other people. That, and when I'm in the dumps it's very hard for me not to interpret comfort as pity, or that it's artificial and comes at an emotional cost, so I rarely ask it.

It's further complicated by the fact that, when it comes down to it, the complex I do have is feeling the responsibility and obligation to be okay at all times, or the necessity of being okay. For the sake of other people, yes, because I don't like interacting with people when I can't provide anything positive, but also for the sake of myself, because I just don't get anything done when I'm not okay.

The year 2011 was a year where in the first half I seemed to have my life mostly together and then the second half it just started coming apart and... I've been floundering under the frustration that I haven't gotten it together again since. The main conflict of my life recently has been facing the mortality of my father since August through on-and-off dramatic escapades that involve him being (repeatedly) hospitalized, and the residual traumas surrounding it. Additionally, he's a man that drags everyone down with his sadness, and... well, my family is a topic too complex to really be talked about in full in this entry, but to say the least I can't really escape it.

As a result I've become more and more isolated. I've been feeling more and more alone. I've been feeling less and less myself. I've always had a melancholy of how little connection I had with the world in general and it's actually a great sadness that I'm losing the little connection I feel I have. The sense of which I matter is very little. The last half of 2011 feels a bit like my father took over me and I lost my identity against his misery he's imposing on me. It doesn't help he and I are similar enough that I actively fear becoming him, so it's hard to separate where his drama ends and where my feelings begin.

I've had my own emotional drama that mostly happened in secret, save for maybe two or three people knowing about it. My own family doesn't even know the hospital and psychiatric visits, because they're the ones I have to pretend to be okay to the most, and my roommate only noticed when I belatedly--and vaguely--told her the struggle I went through trying to find help, and eventually finding a decent therapist that I'm not really sure I can afford--but it's a good motivator to make sure I get work done. I'm okay with talking about it more openly now, which I guess speaks a lot.

I'm mostly talking about this as publicly as I am because it occurs to me that I've been dealing with this so privately that a lot of the people who follow my work or projects really have no idea what the delays are all about, so this is an explanation of sorts.

So, to say the least, 2011 isn't a year I remember a lot of. I don't really remember bad times--repression and all. I don't actually remember a lot of my life for this reason, but that's another topic entirely. I don't really know what 2012 will bring. The first week already seems to prove that it's more of the same, and I spent most of the past few days mortified and paralyzed. Regardless, I feel like I should have something to prove, but I don't really know what. I feel I should work on a single Resolution, at least, and the most simplest I can think of is "if I got two good legs there's no reason why I can't keep walking" so I guess that's what I'm going to do, even if it's easier said than done.

I'm kind of curious to see where I'll be in 2013, anyway.

I never thought I'd turn into one of those people that forgets I can post on my LJ. I've mostly been living on Tumblr and Twitter, and when I have been posting to LJ it's basically been exclusively to mineoyster because... idk, that comm's always been my happy place.

That aside I figure I should do some short RL update here.

( cut for RL rambling )

( And some art from Tumblr/Deviantart: a new original project, Mawaru Penguindrum (nsfw), other things )

Until next dump!

There are various things I've consumed lately so I might as well type thoughts on here. Also to remind myself I should use my LJ instead of letting it gather dust.

( Thoughts on: Hexwood by DWJ (including art), Mawaru Penguindrum, No. 6, Persona 4 Anime, Catherine, other things )

In other news Assassin's Creed: Revelations comes out today but I won't be playing it until maybe next month. I will try not to cry too much.

So I posted this to tumblr a couple of weeks ago and it exploded (2000+ notes, what!?). S-so since so many people clearly found it useful posting it here too.

So many people have asked me for character design tips over the past couple of years. Here’s a whole list of rules I keep in mind with my own character designs.

In no specific order:

1. Simple is good. Streamline your design to its essence. The more shit you add on your character the more you make it about what they are wearing, and not who they are.


2. Popular ideas of beauty are limiting. There are only so many ways to make a character conventionally beautiful before you start noticing they all have the same face (i.e. “Six Faces Syndrome”). What most people consider “ugly” or undesirable is actually features that make your character unique. Who would you likely remember more: A perfect-faced model or that model’s twin with buckteeth?


3. Understand typical archetype designs and visual stereotypes to use them effectively. What are characteristics found in a “hero” character? In a “villain” character? In a “child” character? What can you do to mix them around, or play it straight?


4. Don’t draw the lines of the character, rather: draw the character in the lines. In other words: if someone told you to draw a horse, don’t just draw a plain old horse—draw the personality in the horse. A Royal Noble Horse has a much different character from an Old Sickly Stubborn Horse, for example. There’s a difference between Hark! A Vagrant!’s Fat Pony and Tangled’s Maximus, for another example.


5. Make your characters relatable. Making a character as wildly unique as possible (a pink-purple-blue haired goth wearing nothing but Hot Topic gear, for instance) actually is one of the most alienating things you can do for your audience. It’s trying too hard to make your character a special snowflake. Limit this extreme to very specific characters and roles, be calculating and precise about going crazy. It will be more effective.


6. In addition, find what makes a person special through the boring features. Not everyone has crazy tri-colored hair, but there are a lot of people who have short brown hair. Can you draw five different characters with short brown hair and make them all unique? Try it out.


7. Silhouettes are important. Are you varying body mass? Are you utilizing basic shapes? We are able to recognize people and objects just from their shadow, and we do it so often we don’t even notice we do it! If all your characters have the same “shadow,” challenge yourself to mix it up more.


8. If you drew your characters naked and bald, could you tell them apart?


9. Be consistent in the ‘tone’ of your design style.


10. All these rules can be broken according to how calculated your irony is for your story. But you need to know what to do right before intentionally doing it wrong.

[original post]

So this is the movie I've been so excited over only dogs can hear my screams.


French Trailer:






English-Dub Trailer:





Great dub casting for the English and adaptation of the musical performance but aaaah, nothing beats the magic of the French.

http://thefoxsister.com/


So the comic I have been drawing for Christina Strain, The Fox Sister, went live last night! The first eight pages are up for viewing, with weekly updates happening every Thursday.

For everyone who has been looking forward to this, I hope you like it! Please enjoy!

Some art for you:





click to zoom



click to zoom


So I finished a couple of art prints to promote The Fox Sister! The first one features the sisters Sun-Hee and Yun-Hee (heavily inspired by one of the promotional images for The Tale of Two Sisters), and the second illustration is a spooky pin-up of Sun-Hee.

I hope to have time to draw another promo illustration with Alex in it, either with Yun-Hee or both sisters, but all the ideas I felt really inspired to get done right now featured only the girls... The story is driven by their conflict at the end of the day, and I really wanted to emphasize the connection between the sisters without cock getting in the way--and I say this with Alex being my favorite character (he was only tailor-made for me I swear, sob sob sob).

Ugh, can't wait for Christina to put up the website! We're definitely working hard to get it up before Anime Expo in three weeks, so look forward to it!

"It is a little bit of a mini-tragedy that [Xavier] and Magneto don't, you know, have sex and become married and become best friends."

Um excuse you James McAvoy, those two may not have put a ring on each other but two out of three ain't bad, okay. Okay.

ps I loved it. Wow did the trailers ever lie about this movie. Sorry, trailers, but as much as you wanted this movie to look like shit, the truth is that film kind of rocked.

So I was talking with littlemute about a webcomic called Strings of Fate, and I felt so old when I realized enough time passed that most people actually wouldn't know this comic existed. So I'm making this post!





Created by the excellent Jen Wang (known for her debut comic Koko Be Good), Strings of Fate was produced during the years of 1999-2003 (a time when webcomics were still a novelty and people actually cared about Megatokyo), and stayed up until maybe 2005 before it quietly, and rather anti-climatically, was deleted off the face of the internet.

While she clearly loved the comic she was drawing, Jen Wang eventually grew out of the story she wanted to tell and didn't have the motivation to finish it. As sad as I am to see a project abandoned, it happens. Still, I was sadder when it was taken down completely. I never really understood why Miss Wang never left the comic up at least for archiving purposes. It was pure luck that a couple of months before the domain was deleted I neurotically saved everything on the website for my own personal archive, because I loved it so much, and I am sharing those now!



Strings of Fate follows Tony, a man who discovers he is the incarnation of the Rat of the Chinese Zodiac who, mysteriously, decided to be reborn as mortal...at the cost of his memories. Tony therein discovers a world where he's introduced to the subsequent animals of the Zodiac and the Four Gods, as well as animals who never made it in, and the many underhanded personal agendas involved among all the parties. As he slowly re-learns who he was and how to channel his abilities, he also starts to piece together the unpleasant truth that he may not have been the nicest of personalities in his previous life, and there are those in this new world he's in who haven't forgotten and definitely haven't forgiven.

A very cool Chinese-American urban fantasy story with really strong, rounded characters and exciting developments (that unfortunately we will never see realized, sob). It's definitely a forgotten gem in the history of the internet, one of a kind, and entirely worth your time to read.

( download links under the cut )

Enjoy!

~ * ART PRINT S A L E * ~

( LIST OF PRINTS )


( PURCHASING INSTRUCTIONS )

I should have done this post like, a month ago. But here we are!

If there are any questions, feel free to ask!

Thank you!